death of success

slow dance. take it slow. breath. a loss is deep. a loss of some accomplishment. entitlement that drives you to fight to keep something. at one point is it you moving too far? how much can you possibly ask? do you leave it alone.


I am learning. Slowly. I am learning to find it. Slowly. 

Don’t be scared. The day goes on. 

A sinking feeling that maybe you aren’t supposed to break out of this cycle of dependency. That maybe you are supposed to be stuck in the shackles of mediocrity. 

As a man. YOU provide for family. It is your duty. The martyr is that which doens’t follow his dreams, but sacrifices his dreams for the betterment of his family…? But what if the martyr is actually then upset? Resentful? He looks for distractions to help him get through the day. Youtubes. Upworthies.

He pines over the loss money. The money that he was so close to having. It is getting hard to face the Truth. That maybe you are just meant to be this mediocre soul. Someone who stumbles when reading Quran even after years of reading. Someone who loses focus in prayer every waking moment. Someone who is trying so damn hard, but fails.  Someone who after running barely a mile loses breath. Knees hurt. Loses balance at just breathing. 

There is just no signs of improvement. Just constant mediocrity. MEDIOCRITY ON TOP OF MEDIOCRITY>

GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER. Some will say. But you are you. You see what is possible. 

Is this the outcome of lack of patience? Does it get better from here? Does it get worst?

Karachi - back of 115 (Taken with Instagram)

Karachi - back of 115 (Taken with Instagram)

meta camera overload. 

meta camera overload. 

blur on blur. kids on kids.

runaways in edhi child home korangi. omar and shehr

runaways in edhi child home korangi. omar and shehr

closed eyes, type

a frequent walk through my daily path is sometimes deliberately boring so i can try to ake more time to hink. routine is good for the mind to not worry about what you’re doing and focus on doing more creative thinking. thewhen you are in the process of going through a difficult day without any routine or limits, than you are screwed and the day goes to shits.

i am not sure how things will pan out here in PK but its important that we stay focused, busy and continue our on our way to filming nad ifinishing this movie. this is ambitious. it is overly abtiouuos in a lot of ways but we have to foncotinue working because we cant stop. what will stopping achieve for us? nothing/ in fat, it would just be a personal failure. inshaAllah kahir. we have all these supporteres behind us that support what we are doing. so lets hope that will pan out.

i am proofoundly terrified with how things will come thogether. lets just pray that time is move on and we all will see how things will be.

i am tired. i am tired. i am happy to be on my own in a lot of ways. a mamn should not be dependend on hia woman. a man is only dependent on his Lord. his LORD i, the creator the mericuful. the ONe ho has created us all.

the reason why man should only fear and base eeverything off him is cos of gratefulness. its cos of shukr. whetehte ryou are a kid with bees infesting our of your mouth or if you would go and dehydrate yourself from the heart.

the edhi abulance doesnt give a shirt. youd faint and we’d all have.

this is seirous busyinsess.

i am ired and will come later.

i only cnare if sufan doesn well.

my bet man…

there is a sense of incredibly writingness that comes from closing your eyes and just letting the fingers type. there is suddenly a sense of rfree writing that i feel hat im losing. the problem is there is so much on the walls that i get distracted and dont know what im talking about.

ok. lets gop tp s;ee[ mpw/



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